Thursday’s List: Top Ten Signs you might be a (Caffeinated) Catholic Mama

When people hear my blog name, they can’t help but giggle a little bit. After all, it’s fairly descriptive but at the same time, I am pointing to one of my biggest vices, Caffeine. My love for caffeine is such that when I was pregnant with my children, I couldn’t give it up all the way… so I cut back. I used to think of myself as less of a person because of my coffee addiction but then, one Sunday, one of my favorite priests admitted his caffeine addiction as well and then I realized I was not alone. He is much better with his crutch that I am… in fact, I believe he gives up coffee for all of Lent. Wednesdays and Fridays are traditional fasting days and it would be wise of me to consider fasting from my coffee on Wednesdays and Fridays…

A friend posted on FaceBook a list of things that indicate a certain level of Catholicism and it kind of got me thinking, what characteristics are indicative of a post-modern Catholic Mama, like me? So without further ado:

Top Ten Signs You Might Be A (Caffeinated ) Catholic Mama

10. After morning prayers, you sit and make your list of things to do for the day because you have the attention span of a squirrel.

9. When your kids fall and scrape their knee, you inspect the wound and then tell them to offer their physical pain up to those poor souls in purgatory.

8. Your idea of abstinence is unplugging the coffee pot (or hiding the French Press) for a while.

7. You would be aghast at the thought of taking your kids to the market in their PJs but if it means getting to daily Mass on time, they are going in those footies! (that was me in February.)

6. Your baby’s first words are: Mama, Dada, Amen and Coffee

5. Your toddler has no clue what Adoration is but she knows that she should whisper when in there.

4. Your kids play Mass with the food in their kitchen set rather than “cooking” with it.

3. Religious Art depicting The Blessed Virgin lactating isn’t “weird” to your kids.

2. Your preschooler treats “StarWars” as a call and response. (Film: “May the Force be with you.” Little Voice: “and also with you.”)

1. The folks at Starbucks see your red Swagger Wagon after Sunday Mass and they have your order ready when you walk through the door!

ETA: One more… let’s call this #1a: Guest lists to family parties are not complete unless one or more Priests or Deacons are invited!

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The iced coffee that now resides in my ‘fridge comes from The Pioneer Woman. Thanks to Anne at Modern Mrs. Darcy and Suzanne for introducing me to this recipe for heaven in a cup. Personally, I sweeten with simple syrup (a 1 part sugar to 2 parts water ratio.) Yum.

Pax Christi!

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10 Comments

Filed under breastfeeding, Catholic, family, funnies, lists, Thursday

10 responses to “Thursday’s List: Top Ten Signs you might be a (Caffeinated) Catholic Mama

  1. Joanne

    Funny!! Although I’ve been “blessed” w/natural caffeination, I can relate to many of these………uhhh, but maybe not the lactating Blessed Virgin art!

  2. I love it when a blog post makes me laugh out loud. Like your #6 and #2!

  3. (Film: “May the Force be with you.” Little Voice: “and also with you.”)

    Is that from when “Peace be with you” is said and then you respond “and also with you”, because I went to a Catholic primary school and I ALWAYS think that you are supposed to respond to “May the Force be with you” with “and also to you”.

  4. Maman A Droit

    Love the list…very funny 🙂

    Could you post sometime on how you get your toddler to whisper at church? After over a year of walking my son around the church every single week because he was disrupting mass every single week, we gave up and started attending Mass separately. We try every once in a while bringing him again to see if he can handle it and nope, not at all. This week he was literally screaming (we’re also working on 2 year molars-blah). We try to teach him about being quiet at home and discussing it ahead of time so he knows what we expect, and we’ve tried bringing books and toys but he just throws them. We don’t let him run around when we do take him out, because we didn’t want him to ever make the connection that fussing leads to freedom! Lol. Anyway I’d love to hear your tips (since you mentioned the whispering in Adoration!)

    • Oh, Mama, that’s a challenging one. I think a lot has to do with the temperament of the child. It’s even more difficult when you look at Mass being only maybe an hour and fifteen minutes or so on a Sunday and even shorter during a weekday service. It sounds like you are doing much of what I would do: setting expectations, soft books, etc. We also emphasize the difference in “inside” and “outside” voices ALL THE TIME. Ugh. We don’t bring toys or snacks, but we do bring crayons and books for the girls.

      Are you able to go to weekday Mass? I almost wonder if that could help, as it’s a shorter service with all of the same Graces, and he could get used to the rhythm of the service. Also, and you might cringe at this one, we have found that it’s almost better to sit close to the front so the girls can see what’s going on, rather than in the back. Yes, it means that one of you might be making that long walk to your Gathering Area if a meltdown occurs (been there, done that. DH too.) but often, toddlers really want to see what’s going on. (and remember, Jesus really wants your little ones in church, despite the uncharitable looks your pew-mate may give you. I think people sometimes have selective amnesia when it comes to kids in church.)

      Molars are no fun and are not making it any easier, either!

  5. Raquel

    So funny! My child is only 5 months but I’m sure it will progress in a similar manner. I like coffee but since my husband doesn’t drink any (and I have been accused of being lazy) I rarely make any at my house (but I will take when its offered) so coffee might not make the list of first words. But I can tell you this, growing up my sister and I rarely played school or babysitting but we always played Mass. We would process down the living room holding this decorative/fake book made to be open and we would take turns being the lector or priest. And with an uncle who is a deacon, we always have an “elite” guest list!
    God Bless!!

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