A few people have asked me if I said any words at my mother’s funeral. If you know me well, you know that I did. What I had to say was short, sweet and not without a point. I think I drew a laugh when I walked up there with my iPad, but it’s so much easier than dealing with papers! Without further ado:
On behalf of my mom and the rest of our family, thank you all for coming here today. You were all affected in one way or another by my mother and I know that she is glad for your being here.
When I was in my mid-twenties, my mother and I had an interesting conversation. It was a conversation about what she would like to happen in the event of her death. Up to that point, our family was no stranger to tragic events and while that was a very somber topic, it had it’s merits.
(A little history: My mother’s youngest brother was found murdered in his home around Thanksgiving. Her younger sister died from surgical complications around the holidays. My brothers lost both of their grandparents… around the holidays, and their father OD’d… can you guess?? Yup. Around the holidays.)
While the details may have changed, there was one point that always remained the same… that she wanted a true celebration of life. No mournful music, no wailing, no gnashing of the teeth. A true party, where people would exchange happy memories, look at old pictures, laugh and have a fun time.
(We ended up having mournful/ happy music. Somehow, the organist made the music mournful. Oh, well.)
She always said she’s prefer cremation over burial because she dreamed of having her ashes sprinkled among the elephants on the African plains. I told her that I’d take her to the Zoo and sprinkle her there and we’d call it even.
In his first letter to the Thessalonians, St. Paul reminds us to:
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s Will for you in Christ Jesus.
We are not called to be overjoyed with my mom’s death but we are called to be grateful for all the ways she left her mark on our lives.
My mother and I had a bit of a strained relationship at times, but I will attest that the last few years have been nothing but joy, with a little exasperation mixed in for good measure.
Maybe 5 years ago, my mother became very interested in family history. She wanted to find out where everyone came from and how we came to be. I remember how excited she would be when a new lead would pop up on her ancestry.com site and she would either call, FaceBook or, her latest joy, text message me. She really missed the closeness of family that she experienced growing up and she began working on bringing the family closer, starting with reigniting family reunions. But, I think you will have to agree that this might be a drastic way to bring the family closer together.
If nothing else, please do not let my mother’s death be in vain. Heart disease is the number one killer of Americans across all ethnicities and accounts for half of the deaths of American women. Heart Disease kills more women than breast cancer, but yet it’s danger is relatively unknown.
To often, we as women put ourselves 3rd, 4th, 7th, or just flat out last on the list but that helps no one. You were put on this Earth for a specific role- one that no one can fully fill. I am blessed to have loving aunts, a fantastic step-mother and a wonderful mother-n-law to lean on in tough times, but they will never fully fill the void my mom left behind. Visit your doctor for a yearly check up, know your numbers, be proactive and don’t become another statistic.
If you have been to a wedding in the last 2000 years or so, you know what St. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians:
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; than I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
My faith gives me the hope that I will see my mother again, united with He who is Love along with her little brother, little sister, parents and relations until the end of time.
So there you have it.
Little excitement heading my way… tomorrow I am quitting sugar COLD TURKEY. I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow and why I am doing it (basically, I am tired, grumpy and tired of looking 5 months pregnant.) I am preparing my family for the evil beast that could result of sugar withdrawal symptoms. Stay tuned!